As the months passed, Chi-Chi's stomach grew bigger and bigger to Goku's amazement:
-Gee, Chi-Chi!-he started-You should eat less, or you'll become fat as your father.
-Gosh, you're an idiot, Goku!-Chi-Chi responded madly-I'm not fat, our baby is in my stomach.
-You mean, you already ate our baby, before me even seeing it?! Why would you do that?
-No, you BAKA! The baby is growing inside of my stomach, and after about four months later, it will come out!
-Really? Now that's creepy. You mean to tell me, that's how I was born too, inside someone's belly?
-I wouldn't be surprised if you were born entirely differently, considering how stupid you are.
-I can't wait for it to come out of you. It would be neat for it to be a boy, so I could train him.
-Oh, no you won't. Whether it's a girl or a boy, the result will be the same: I will make her or him a great scholar.
-You mean like a geek? How unfun...
-I will never allow my kid to be a moron like you, that's for sure.
-Have it your way...-Goku replied, keeping his fingers crossed.
Four more months passed away, and Chi-Chi was already in the surgery room, ready to deliver the baby. Goku was also there, hardly waiting to meet his own child. Chi-Chi was too busy screaming in pain to even bother with him, as she spread her legs, and started pushing the baby out. To Goku's shock, an almost miniature of himself, filled with blood, started coming out of Chi-Chi's vagina. After seeing that her baby also had a tail, Chi-Chi freaked out, to say the least, not to mention the doctors' reaction. As the baby came out, Goku then saw some sort of rope ( umbilical cord ) attached to the baby's belly bottom, which the doctors cut down with a sharp scissors. Moments later, while it couldn't get any more disgusting, he also saw a heart, or was it her brain? ( the placenta ), also filled with blood, coming out of Chi-Chi's vagina, however, by the time it came out, he already fainted...
The nurse screamed loudly, when she noticed that Goku wasn't even breathing, while Chi-Chi was super pissed off at him, as he took every doctor's attention away from her. In the end, they gave Goku a whole syringe of adrenaline, while Goku jumped up to the ceiling fan from the sudden pain and shock. Since that day, Goku is afraid of the needles.
After a few long hours, both parents managed to calm themselves down. Chi-Chi and her baby were already in the postpartum unit, both laying in bed, while she breast fed him. Just then, Goku came in with a surprised face:
-Hi there, Chi-Chi? How are you feeling?
-Very tired, that's for sure. Other than that, I couldn't be more than happy.
-So, whatcha doing there? Are you already teaching him about sex, so he wouldn't have trouble doing it like I did?-but Chi-Chi was too tired to even get angry at him.
-No, I'm breastfeeding him.
-You mean like he's going to eat your breasts? So that's why you grew them so big, so you could feed them to him.
-No, no, no! I'm giving him milk through my breast!
-You've got milk? Like cows do? That is just weird. But I am kinda hungry. Can I drink some?-while suddenly, Chi-Chi became horny again; luckily, there was no one else in the room, so she agreed;
-Ok, but be careful not to drink too much; leave some for the baby.-then she unfolded her left breast as well, while Goku started sucking it-So, how does it tastes like?-but Goku just continued sucking it more and more-Goku! Did you hear me?-but then again, no response-That's it!-then, gathering as much strength she could, she slapped him on the face.
-AAAUCH!!! Now why did you do that for?!
-I told you not to drink too much. It's for our baby, not for a moron like you. Anyway, how did it taste like?
-It tasted really delicious. It was like a warm vanilla flavored ice-cream.-which made her blush-Can I have more, please?
-Maybe, some other time. By the way, did you thought of how we should name our son?
-Hmmm...not really. But since he's a boy, we can name him BOY.
-I meant like a real name, you idiot!
-Oh, I see. Well, there is one name I can think of. He was a very dear person to me, whom raised me. How about, Son Gohan? Is that a good name?
-Son Gohan...It does have a good ring to it. Although, I did think of a more professional name, like Akira Toriyama, but Son Gohan sounds much better.
-Then it's settled. Son Gohan it is.
-But don't get any ideas; just because we named him after your martial artist grandfather, that doesn't mean I'll allow you to train him. I don't want him to become a warrior, I want him to be become a great scholar, and as soon as they release us from the hospital, I will start teaching him to talk. Now give me your solid word, that you will never EVER teach him to fight!
-I, Son Goku, promise you, Chi-Chi, my lovely wife, that I shall never, ever, teach our son, Son Gohan, the ways of a martial artist.-he said out-loud, while keeping his fingers crossed behind his back.
But we all know, that Gohan not only he became a great scholar, but also a proud fighter, a hero, by saving the Earth countless times. And as for Goku's and Chi-Chi's sexual life...they haven't had sex for eleven years, even though, Goku always wanted to. However, just before the Cell Games, Chi-Chi got so emotional, that she decided that she wanted to have another baby. Of course, the second time, she and Goku were more prepared, and things went a lot smoothly. However, that's another story. And you know what they say...the rest is history.
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Did you ever wonder how Goku's and Chi-Chi's "first time" was? Only one word can describe that: disastrous.
Well.. That was an interesting story lol. I also love that line, so typically Goku lol.
It's just a funny story. The readers on fanfiction.net and on other sites became outrageous after reading it. But I like the in-jokes I put. Maybe I got to carried away, Goku's cumm coming out of Chi-Chi's mouth was definitely too much, will have to revise it later, but overall that's how I imagined their first time
You mean, you already ate our baby, before me even seeing it?! Why would you do that? he is such a goof.